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Tuesday March 20th 2007, 7:12 pm
Filed under: All Letters,Love Letters

To a fed up wife,

You wouldn’t believe how crazy my life has been this week. Every night has aroused my attention, and every day has given me something to work on. The first query of the day is to look for work. The money I had saved is running low and the ominous pressure of being thrown out of my studio and kicked out my house, continually inspires me to find a source of income. I am jealous of your paycheck, dear wife. However, I have a job interview with the USC School of Communication as a graphic designer on this Tuesday. Wish me luck! The job is a full time salary gig with benefits. In preparation for the interview, I have been working diligently on my portfolio to bring with me on Tuesday. Other than the graphic designer position, I don’t have any leads to any other jobs as of yet; but I am still in high spirits about finding work. On the bright side of life, I have completed my first painting in the new studio. The work is a portrait of you and Konanne, lying together in a plush blue void. The skin tones are a pop-surreal mix of flesh and purple. Konanne has a hole in his forehead that is trickling blood and you have a hole in your breast bone, where your heart would be. I can’t say that I enjoyed the process of painting this portrait, but the final result put a smile on my face. I may even enter the piece in a show in late August, but only if I can find a nice frame to compliment the painting. Even if I don’t display the work at the Art show, I will hang the portrait in my studio to remind me why I have to continue to work hard at focusing on my life, instead of focusing on our failed marriage. And speaking of our failures, I would like to apologize to you for failing to answer my phone the last 3 times you’ve tried to call me. However, you must understand, I am afraid of hearing your voice, telling me how well you are doing in San Francisco. The two messages you left were quite opposite from one another, as the first one was sweet and tame, and the second one was fed up and annoyed. You mentioned that you were trying to return the deposit money for our old apartment to me; Mindy, I don’t want that money. My pride and ego are too full to accept your gift. But how can you know this if I don’t pick up the phone? Well I may call you tomorrow and lie to you about how my phone has been out of service for the last week and that I just received all five of your messages the day I’ll call you. You may or may not believe this lie, however, the point of the call will be to tell you to keep the damn money. Go to Hawaii with a new lover or treat yourself to something nice; whatever, I don’t care. Even though it was my money I used for that deposit, I don’t want a thing from you, except your forgiveness and your love. HA! Maybe I could buy your love for the same price as the deposit? Ok, maybe not. Anyway, we’ll see how I feel tomorrow, and maybe you’ll hear from me. I guess I’m a little upset that you only called me to talk business. Well, what are friends for if you can’t discuss business? Oh, wait, I forgot, you’re not my friend (after all, you are my wife.) But please don’t be too mad at me, darling. I don’t mean to be rude by not answering your calls. I truly am afraid of your casual updates. Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance. I want to go dancing. You and I never really danced, physically that is; spiritually we danced day and night. However, we never got down. I was in a break dance circle the other night while listening to Sonic Death Rabbit (an awesome band by the way.) But, this is a part of me you will never get to experience. I almost died the other day. A jeep ran a red light while I was crossing the street on my bike. Uhm … yeah. It’s 4 AM. I’m tired. I have to stop writing, love.

-Good night


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